I heart New York.

I'm still vibrating with excitement about the recent New York Senate vote to extend marriage rights to same-sex couples.

Despite success stories in Iowa, New Hampshire, Vermont, D.C., Massachusetts and Connecticut, I'd become convinced that the setbacks in California and Maine had permanently disabled the civil rights movement of our time. I was wrong. And public opinion and support for equal marriage rights is shifting dramatically as the five states and the District of Columbia have shown the fearful that the world will not end by letting two men or two women tie the knot.

To say that all of this change is a surprise would be an understatement. I did not grow up thinking I would ever be married to another man, but here I am, married legally - at least in states that recognize it. Next week is our third anniversary.

I've been a little angry with Obama during the last couple of days. He has stated publicly that he believes that marriage laws should best be determined by the states. I sent him a terse email on Monday reminding him that his own parents' bi-racial marriage had been illegal in many states and threatened withdrawal of my support, financial and otherwise. I haven't heard back from the President. Yet. I'm sure I will. His timing is impressive, to say the least.

Meantime, I've been reading different opinions about the President's reaction. The most reasoned comes from Andrew Sullivan, of course. In a nutshell:

A civil rights movement does not get its legitimacy from any president. I repeat: he does not legitimize us; we legitimize him. As gays and lesbians, we should stop looking for saviors at the top and start looking for them within. We won this fight alongside our countless straight family members, friends, associates and fellow citizens. As long as Obama has done due diligence in the office he holds - and he has - he is not necessary to have as a Grand Marshall for our parade.

Andrew's argument is worth reading, especially his take on why marriage rights are more protected at the state level. On the other hand, there's this devastating story from CNN that shows in human terms how marriage inequality literally destroys families. Not in the abstract. In reality. These policies harm people. Families are being ripped apart. I want the President to meet this couple and explain to them how this is a "states' rights" issue.

The bottom line is this: Drew and I got married in California, so our marriage should be recognized in every other state. That's only fair. I also believe churches and religious organizations who don't believe in same-sex unions should be allowed to discriminate against us. Sure, these groups and the fundamentalists who support them will increasingly look like relics, but they should be allowed to dig their graves as deep and as wide as they wish.

We don't live in a Christian nation or a Muslim nation. We live in a pluralistic society. I should be able to live a life of equality that is separate from your religion. And you should live separate from mine. And in between there should be this space that we share, a public space that we occupy together, where we all have access to the same rights.

I'm starting to feel sorry for the opponents of LGBT civil rights. They are missing out on so many great moments of growth in our nation. They're not celebrating progress, they're fighting it. Worse, many have children who are watching them stand in the way. In the not-so-distant future, these children will ask their parents where they stood in the fight for justice for gays and lesbians. These obstructionists will be held accountable for their action or inaction. Or maybe they'll remain silent. But I remember. And I'll tell their children exactly what happened.